


And I know there’ll be no more tears in heaven

by setting_sail_indefinitely



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, It’s basically all angst, Sad, trigger warning for child loss, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 01:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14727308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setting_sail_indefinitely/pseuds/setting_sail_indefinitely
Summary: Just a little tiny tidbit of what could happen after Charity tells Vanessa about her son. Vanessa’s thoughts/feelings sort of. I don’t know really, it’s mostly just a lot of pain so read at your own risk.





	And I know there’ll be no more tears in heaven

**Author's Note:**

> This is really angst and I don’t know where it came from, it kind of just tumbled out of my head so i’m sorry. Sharing is caring? (It really isn’t in this case, come yell at me if needs be). Also really don’t read this if it’s going to be too much for you, because like the storyline in the show there is a lot of sensitive emotions and feelings going on.
> 
> On the plus side it’s super super short, I may expand on it at a later date, who knows.

She was numb. She didn’t know what to think, what to feel. She’d just left the woolpack after walking Charity home from the chapel - she’d said she needed space. Her feet were propelling her forwards towards home, but she couldn’t feel her body. Her mind was reeling with all of the information she’d just been given. She didn’t even know where to begin processing any of it, all she knew was that her heart _hurt_. Her entire being _ached_ for her love.

Somehow she manages to locate her keys and unlock the door, dropping her coat and bag to the floor the second she crossed the threshold and kicking off her shoes next to them. She walks through the dark house in a daze, heading up the stairs painfully slow.

Every movement since she’d left her girlfriend curled up on the sofa at the pub felt as though she was wading through water, weighted down with layers upon layers of clothing. Everything felt murky and distant, as though she was no longer in her body, her racing mind the only thing keeping her in motion.

She walked down the silent hallway, past Tracy’s room where she could hear quiet music playing - signifying her sister was sat in bed reading, before slowing to a stop outside Johnny’s door. She paused there for a few moments, hand on the doorknob, before holding her breath and opening the door. She exhaled in a silent sigh of relief when her eyes landed on her sleeping son, an unknown weight lifting from her shoulders.

She made her way over to Johnny’s bed, stroking her fingers through his hair before gently lying down next to him. She gently curled one arm underneath his head and wrapped the other around him, carefully pulling him close to her body and curling herself protectively around him.

With her son safely in her arms sensation started to creep back into her body one bone at a time, and with each breath she felt him take a tear broke free from her lashes and rolled down her cheeks until she was silently sobbing into his hair.

Her son was safe, he was alive, but there was a new hole in her heart for the son she’d never meet.


End file.
